Mere moro og vås...

[Knut G.]

Mere tidsfordriv: http://www.bored.com/ Tok litt tid og få jobbet meg igjennom denne sia, phuuuuu...






_____________________
Trondhjemmer i eksil.
Medlem nr 2 Suzuki 4x4 Club Norway.

[Knut G.]

Her er en del som er sakset fra chat's rundt omkring:

http://www.bash.org/?latest

Bl.a. denne:
McKhaos: this guy asks me
McKhaos: how many people work in your company ?
McKhaos: my answer
McKhaos: about a third

Enjoy folks


_____________________
Trondhjemmer i eksil.
Medlem nr 2 Suzuki 4x4 Club Norway.

[Knut G.]

http://www.savvy.com/videos/animations/bee...er_goggles.aspx


_____________________
Trondhjemmer i eksil.
Medlem nr 2 Suzuki 4x4 Club Norway.

[terjebj]

TIøring?? den e jo blank. bruk en gammek 5øring, dein e jo brun.
ellers bra oppskrift. <blockquote id="quote"><font size="1" id="quote"><b id="quote">Kopi av melding:</b id="quote"></font id="quote"><table border="0" id="quote"><tr id="quote"><td class="quote" id="quote"><font size="1" id="quote">Meg og mine venners oppskrift på kaffedoktor, på den tiden vi ikke skjønte bedre....15-16 åringer

Legg en tiøring i et stort kaffekrus.
Fyll på halv kopp med kaffe
Fyll på med hb til mynten blir synlig igjen.



www.ford-project.com
Tom Thorvaldsen
Stolt eier av : 1986 mod. Ford F-150 XLT Lariat

<i><div align="right">Opprinnelig postet av Denominator</div id="right"></i>
</td id="quote"></tr id="quote"></table id="quote"></blockquote id="quote"><font size="2" id="quote"></font id="quote">

chevy rules!
95' sub
Det finnes ingen dumme spørsmål, bare dumme svar!

[Knut G.]

Kondom neste gang?

http://www.metacafe.com/watch/45578/who_wants_babies/



_____________________
Trondhjemmer i eksil.
Medlem nr 2 Suzuki 4x4 Club Norway.

[Knut G.]

As a trucker stops for a red light, a blonde catches up. She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the door. The trucker lowers the window, and she says "Hi, my name is Cindy and you are losing some of your load." The trucker ignores her and proceeds down the street.

When the truck stops for another red light, the girl catches up again. She jumps out of her car, runs up and knocks on the door. Again, the trucker lowers the window. As if they've never spoken, the blonde says brightly, "Hi my name is Cindy, and you are losing some of your load!"

Shaking his head the trucker ignores her again and continues down the street. At the third red light, the same thing happens again. All out of breath, the blonde gets out of her car, runs up, knocks on the truck door. The trucker lowers the window. Again she says "Hi, my name is Cindy, and you are losing some of your load!"

When the light turns green the trucker revs up and races to the next light. When he stops this time, he hurriedly gets out of the truck, and runs back to the blonde. He knocks on her window, and as she lowers it, he says, "Hi, my name is Joe, its winter in Minnesota and I'm driving the SALT TRUCK!"

___________________

A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him. As he sits, the waitress comes over and asks for their orders. The man says, "I'll have a hamburger, fries and a coke," and turns to the ostrich. "I'll have the same," says the ostrich. A short time later the waitress returns with the order. "That will be $12.40 please," and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment.

The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, "I'll have a hamburger, fries and a coke," and the ostrich says, "I'll have the same." Once again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.

This becomes routine, until late one evening, the two enter again. "The usual?" asks the waitress. "No, this is Friday night, so I'll have a steak, baked potato and salad," says the man. "Same for me," says the ostrich. A short time later the waitress comes with the order and says, "That will be $32.48." Once again the man pulls exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table.

The waitress can't hold back her curiosity any longer. "Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change out of your pocket every time?" "Well," says the man, "Several years ago I was cleaning the attic and I found an old lamp. When I rubbed it a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there."

"That's brilliant!" says the waitress. "Most people would wish for a million dollars or something like that, but you'll always have as much money as you need for as long as you live." "That's right. Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there," says the man proudly.

The waitress asks, "One other thing, sir, what's with the ostrich?" The man looks a bit crestfallen, sighs, pauses, and answers, "My second wish was for a tall chick with long legs who agrees with everything I say."


_____________________
Trondhjemmer i eksil.
Medlem nr 2 Suzuki 4x4 Club Norway.

[OlavEmil]

HAAAAAAAHAHAA, fantastisk bra, begge to !!

[Knut G.]

Enig, hehehe. MÅTTE bare poste dem :-)

_____________________
Trondhjemmer i eksil.
Medlem nr 2 Suzuki 4x4 Club Norway.

[OlavEmil]

Det gjorde du rett i, fortsett slik .

[Knut G.]

An American golfer playing in Ireland hooked his drive into the woods. Looking for his ball, he found a little Leprechaun flat on his back, a big bump on his head and the golfer's ball beside him. Horrified, the golfer got his water bottle from the cart and poured it over the little guy, reviving him.

"Arrgh! What happened?" the Leprechaun asked. "I'm afraid I hit you with my golf ball," the golfer says. "Oh, I see. Well, ye got me fair and square. Ye get three wishes, so whaddya want?" "Thank God, you're all right!" the golfer answers in relief. "I don't want anything. I'm just glad you're OK, and I apologize." And the golfer walks off.

"What a nice guy," the Leprechaun says to himself. I have to do something for him. I'll give him the three things I would want... a great golf game, all the money he ever needs, and a fantastic sex life."

A year goes by and the American golfer is back. On the same hole, he again hits a bad drive into the woods and the leprechaun is there waiting for him. "Twas me that made ye hit the ball here," the little guy says. "I just want to ask ye, how's yer golf game?" "My game is fantastic!" the golfer answers. I'm an internationally famous golfer now." He adds, "By the way, it's good to see you're all right."

"Oh, I'm fine now, thankye. I did that fer yer golf game, you know. And tell me, how's yer money situation?" "Why, it's just wonderful!" the golfer states. When I need cash, I just reach in my pocket and pull out $100.00 bills I didn't even know were there!"

"I did that fer ye also. And tell me, how's yer sex life? "The golfer blushes, turns his head away in embarrassment, and says shyly, "It's okay". "C'mon, c'mon now," urged the Leprechaun, "I'm wanting to know if I did a good job. How many times a week?"

Blushing even more, the golfer looks around then whispers, "Once, sometimes twice a week." "What??" responds the Leprechaun in shock. "That's all? Only once or twice a week?" "Well," says the golfer... "I figure that's not bad for a Catholic priest in a small parish."

____________________________________


A commercial traveller was driving through the Scottish Highlands when his car broke down. There was a cottage near by so he went up to it and knocked on the door. The door opened to reveal a burly Highlander.

"My car has broken down," said the traveller, "Do you know where I can spend the night?" "Why, right here of course!" said the Scot, "Come in and avail yourself of our world famous hospitality." The traveller duly entered the humble but cosy residence.

"Jeannie," shouted the host in the direction of the kitchen, and in response to his call his beautiful daughter appeared. "Jeannie, make a meal for the gentleman and remember to uphold our great tradition of Highland hospitality."

The traveller was soon tucking into an appetising meal; the girl had indeed spared no effort to extend Highland hospitality to the quest. "And now," said the Highlander, "I'm afraid I must go out and milk the cows, but just make yourself at home and take full advantage of our world famous Highland hospitality."

No sooner had the door closed behind him than the traveller set about seducing the lovely daughter. In no time at all he had her on the floor and was on the job.

Suddenly the door opened and there stood the Highlander. He took one look at what was going on and his face turned purple with rage. He dropped his two buckets of milk with a crash and gave verbal vent to his wrath.

"After all I have been saying about the Highland hospitality," he roared, "Arch your back, woman, and take the poor man's balls off the cold floor!"

_______________________________


A man and a woman were driving down the road and arguing about his deplorable infidelity when suddenly the woman reaches over and slices the man's penis off. Angrily, she tosses it out the car window. Driving behind the couple is a man and his 9-year-old daughter. The little girl is chatting away to her father when all of a sudden the penis smacks the car on the windshield, sticks for a moment, then flies off. Surprised, the daughter asks he father, "Daddy, what the heck was that?" Not wanting to expose his little girl to anything sexual at such a young age, the father replies, "It was only a bug, honey." The daughter sits with a confused look on her face, and after a few minutes she says, "Sure had a big dick, didn't it?"

_____________________
Trondhjemmer i eksil.
Medlem nr 2 Suzuki 4x4 Club Norway.

[Yoneck]

<blockquote id="quote"><font size="1" id="quote"><b id="quote">Kopi av melding:</b id="quote"></font id="quote"><table border="0" id="quote"><tr id="quote"><td class="quote" id="quote"><font size="1" id="quote">Enig, hehehe. MÅTTE bare poste dem :-)

_____________________
Trondhjemmer i eksil.
Medlem nr 2 Suzuki 4x4 Club Norway.

<i><div align="right">Opprinnelig postet av Knut G.</div id="right"></i>
</td id="quote"></tr id="quote"></table id="quote"></blockquote id="quote"><font size="2" id="quote"></font id="quote">

Keep it comming!!

Nesten så jeg ramler av stolen her nå.

fS
'92 MB 300 TD Turbo

[Knut G.]

Nå når jula nærmer seg, så er d vel på tide med litt relaterte vitser.
Here goes:


The Teacher was very curious about Christmas and how people celebrated this Holiday.

She asked young Patrick Murphy, Tell me Patrick, what do you do at Christmas Time?" "Well Miss, me and my twelve brothers and sisters go to the midnight Mass, then we come home very late and we put mince pies by the back door and hang up our stockings then all excited we go to bed and wait for Father Christmas to come with all our toys." "That's very nice, Patrick" says the teacher.

"Now Jimmy Brown, what do you do at Christmas?" "Well Miss, me and my sister also go to Church with Mum and Dad and we sing Carols, we get home ever so late. We put biscuits and mince pies by the chimney and we hang up our stocking. We hardly sleep waiting for Santa Claus to bring our Presents." "That's very nice Jimmy" says the teacher.

"Now Isaac Cohen, What do you do at Christmas?" "Well it's the same thing every year, Dad comes home from the office, he opens the electric garage door, we all get in to his Rolls Royce, then we drive to his toy factory, we go inside and look at all the empty shelves, and Dad says 'Thank God for Jesus Christ' and then we all go to the Bahamas."

______________________________________


One beautiful December evening Huan Cho and his girlfriend Jung Lee were sitting by the side of the ocean. It was a romantic full moon, when Huan Cho said "Hey baby, how about playing weweechu."

"Oh no, not now, let's look at the moon " said Jung Lee. "Oh, c'mon baby, let's you and I play weeweechu. I love you and it's the perfect time." Huan Cho begged. "But I rather just hold your hand and watch the moon." "Please, Jung Lee, just once play weeweechu with me." Jung Lee looked at Huan Chi and said "Ok, we'll play weeweechu."

Huan Cho grabbed his guitar and both sang... "Weeweechu a melly Chlistmas, Weeweechu a melly Chlistmas, weeweechu a melly Chlistmas and a happy New Year."


_____________________
Trondhjemmer i eksil.
Medlem nr 2 Suzuki 4x4 Club Norway.

[Knut G.]

Grønnere på den andre sia av gjerdet?
Her et utdrag fra dagboka til en som flytta fra Australia til Canada:


JULY 1ST
Moved to Canada. I am so excited. It's so beautiful here. The scenery is great, the trees are so tall. Can't hardly wait to see them with snow covering them.

OCTOBER 14TH
Canada. It is the most beautiful place on earth. The leaves have turned all colours and shades of red and orange. Went for a ride through the beautiful countryside and saw some deer. They are so graceful. Certainly they are the most wonderful animals on earth. This must be paradise. I love it here.

NOVEMBER 11TH
Deer season starts soon. I can't imagine anyone wanting to kill such a gorgeous creature. Hope it snows soon. I love it here.

DECEMBER 2ND
It snowed last night. Woke up to find everything blanketed with white. It looks like a postcard. We went outside and cleaned the snow off the steps and shovelled the driveway. We had a snowball fight (I won). When the snow plow came by, we had to shovel the driveway again. What a beautiful place. I love Canada.

DECEMBER 12TH
More snow last night. The snow plow did his trick again to the driveway. I love it here.

DECEMBER 19TH
More snow last night. Couldn't get out of the driveway to get to work. It's beautiful here but I'm exhausted from shovelling. That ****ing snow plow.

DECEMBER 22ND
More of that white **** fell last night. I've got blisters on my hands and a sore back from shovelling. I think the snow plow hides around the corner until I'm done shovelling the driveway. That freaking idiot!

DECEMBER 25TH
Merry freaking Christmas! More freaking snow! If I ever get my hands on the freaking idiot who drives the snow plow I swear I'll kill the idiot. Don't know why they don't use more salt on the roads to melt the freaking ice.

DECEMBER 27TH
More freaking white **** last night. Been inside for three days now except for shovelling out the driveway after that snow plow goes through every time. Can't go anywhere, the car's stuck in a mountain of white crap and it's so freaking cold. The weatherman says to expect another 25 centimetres of snow again tonight. Do you know how many shovels full of snow 25 centimetres is?

DECEMBER 28TH
That freaking weatherman was wrong. We got 75 centimetres of snow this time. At this rate it won't melt before summer. The snow plow got stuck up in the road and that idiot came to my door and asked to borrow my shovel. After I told him that I had already broken six shovels shovelling out all the snow he had pushed into my driveway, I darn near broke my last one over his freaking head.

JANUARY 4TH
Finally got out of the house today. Went to the store to get food and on my way back a damned deer ran in front of the car. Did about $3,000 damage to the car. Those freaking beasts should be killed. They are everywhere. Wish the hunters had exterminated them all last November.

MAY 3RD
Took the car to the garage in town. Would you believe the thing is rusted out from all that salt they put all over the roads?

MAY 10TH
I am going back to Australia. I can't imagine why anyone in their right mind would ever want to live in such a God forsaken place as Canada!



_____________________
Trondhjemmer i eksil.
Medlem nr 2 Suzuki 4x4 Club Norway.

[Knut G.]

Little Johnny's neighbours had a baby. Unfortunately, the baby was born without ears. When mother and new baby came home from the hospital Johnny's family was invited over to see the baby.

Before they left their house, Little Johnny's dad had a talk with him and explained that the baby had no ears. His dad also told him that if he so much as mentioned anything about the baby's missing ears or even said the word ears he would get the spanking of his life when they came back home.

Little Johnny told his dad he understood completely. When Johnny looked in the crib he said, "What a beautiful baby." The mother said, why, thank you, Little Johnny." Johnny said, "He has beautiful little feet and beautiful little hands, a cute little nose and really beautiful eyes. "Can he see?" asked Little Johnny.

"Yes", the mother replied, "we are so thankful; the Doctor said he will have 20/20 vision "That's great", said Little Johnny, "cuz he'd be ****ed if he needed glasses."
_____________________________

A bloke stops to visit his mate who has a broken leg. His friend says, "My feet are cold mate. Can you go and get me my slippers from upstairs please." The guy goes upstairs and there are his mate's gorgeous twin 18 year old daughters. "Hi, girls. Your dad sent me up here to shag you." The first daughter says, "That's not true." He says, "I'll prove it." He yells down the stairs, "Both of them?" His mate yells back, "Of course, both of them."



_____________________
Trondhjemmer i eksil.
Medlem nr 2 Suzuki 4x4 Club Norway.